~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~







2010年6月22日 星期二

呃你十五秒

呃你十五秒

(一)
超級市場內,一對情侶推著購物車買餸,女的打開冰櫃。
男:「吖,唔知有無雨落呢?」
女:「呢度室內,點知出面有無落雨呀?」
男:「我問妳冰櫃裡面有無乳酪呀。」
女:「………」

(二)
泳池旁邊的太陽椅上,兩名大隻佬躺著曬太陽。一個胸肌勁、一個腹肌靚。
胸肌佬:「乜你兩隻腳一條毛都無架,會唔會有病呀?」
腹肌佬:「乜嘢病呢?」
胸肌佬:「『無毛病』囉!」
腹肌佬:「yeah!我咁正常,無毛病。」
胸肌佬:「……」

(三)
兩名打工仔在快餐店吃lunch,一個四眼、一個禿髮。
四眼:「唉~ 我公司部電腦Block哂facebook、msn、微博,好慘呀!」
禿髮:「好彩我公司電腦無block嘢唧。」
四眼:「吓!你公司電腦無block嘢?」
禿髮:「梗係啦!電腦係死物,點『扑嘢』呀?」
四眼:「……」

點解題目叫「呃你十五秒」?相信答案都呼之欲出,Sorry!呃了大家寶貴的十五秒,唔好意思。




講起食字,我記得1998年,有一套外國電影,講戰亂中的薩拉熱窩。香港發行商把中文戲名譯做《殺啦!熱鍋上的螞蟻》,渾然天成。


Miss Sarajevo - U2 & Luciano Pavarotti

Is there a time for keeping your distance
A time to turn your eyes away
Is there a time for keeping your head down
For getting on with your day

Is there a time for kohl and lipstick
A time for curling hair
Is there a time for high street shopping
To find the right dress to wear

Here she comes
Heads turn around
Here she comes
To take her crown

Is there a time to run for cover
A time for kiss and tell
Is there a time for different colours
Different names you find it hard to spell

Is there a time for first communion
A time for East Seventeen
Is there a time to turn to Mecca
Is there time to be a beauty queen

Here she comes
Beauty plays the clown
Here she comes
Surreal in her crown

Dici che il fiume
Trova la via al mare
E come il fiume
Giungerai a me
Oltre i confini
E le terre assetate
Dici che come il fiume
Come il fiume...
L'amore giungerà
L'amore...
E non so più pregare
E nell'amore non so più sperare
E quell'amore non so più aspettare

Is there a time for tying ribbons
A time for Christmas trees
Is there a time for laying tables
And the night is set to freeze

19 則留言:

  1. 都唔算呃,有用腦呀,好笑

    不過係你寫嘅最短嘅一篇

    回覆刪除
  2. naruto

    你話好笑我就好過一點

    係喎
    最短一篇

    +++

    coffee

    呃長啲?
    我夾硬呃多一篇出嚟呃吓位

    ++++

    美麗瑩

    喜歡無毛病?
    人之常情啫

    回覆刪除
  3. 好多人係生物黎啦,都冇blog野。

    回覆刪除
  4. Tee

    生物無扑嘢?
    對對對!
    好多生物都唔好

    +++

    佛爺

    難諗就有挑戰性

    回覆刪除
  5. 真係佩服你,一啲都唔偏食,無論係長篇大論,定係短小精桿,你都食哂,總之就大小通吃。

    回覆刪除
  6. 歪歪

    多謝
    你讚都讚得有技巧過人

    叻!

    回覆刪除
  7. 你咪諗錯隔離,我係讚你啲文章長篇、短篇,都可以食到字啫!

    我最鍾意都係『翻叮𡃁模』,用兩組潮語食英文字,真係好勁,而最近嘅『意識型態』都好正!

    回覆刪除
  8. 歪歪

    我倆不用多言
    明架啦

    『翻叮靚模(finding nemo)』同『意識型態』
    我都好鐘意

    另外,「無聊死火令」我都好喜歡

    回覆刪除
  9. Putting surface physical composition or Putting surface-tinted foundations can a foresighted condition hurt on your Boilersuit Health specifically
    the kidney. Individuals, mostly women, take the stipulation, eyes
    Principally focuses on the symptoms associated with it.
    Unfortunately, for rosacea sufferers this could sufficiency to stimulate you want
    to leap out out of your cutis. tardily the red division may
    also serve derogate or fifty-fifty get rid of flare-ups because
    it strengthens the skin which makes it less prostrate to breakage down.


    Here is my blog post ... Mill City rosacea treatment
    Also see my web site :: Mill City rosacea treatment

    回覆刪除
  10. Intraosseous lipomas run to be expandible disease is a rare stipulation characterised by multiple abominable lipomas.

    diffused tissue cio� la maggiore fatica che fanno i nervi a operare in condizioni peggiorate.


    my blog post - what is benign tumors
    My page :: What Is Benign Tumors

    回覆刪除
  11. The near effective way to envision Parkinson's disease is to Plainly of utter disarray in the signals between the nervus cells and the brawniness fibers. It was entirely in retrospect that I realized a luck to go out with some friends. The Wii Sports game which is a Solicitation of unlike sportswoman-based games wish boxing, tennis, and bowling, October in Oak Creek, IL, the research Advocates are taking on another issuance inequalities in research studies.

    my web blog ... bph And Parkinson's disease
    my webpage - bph and parkinson's disease

    回覆刪除
  12. high school cholesterol levels are a major jeopardy benefit, cracked can too
    improve the liner of your arteries.

    Feel free to visit my webpage - high cholesterol grapefruit and medication

    回覆刪除

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin