小學雞說話

小學雞說話

今次選了十句我在小學時聽過和講過的「過氣說話」，現在已經無人會再講。若你年紀跟我相若，大家可一起懷舊一番。如果你未聽過的，就當聽吓uncle「想當年」啦。

第十位：「係咁先，唔係咩呀！」
源於無線電視劇《親情》中，周潤發飾演綽號「木嘴暉」的車房仔，他的口頭禪是：「係咁先，唔係咩呀！」那個年代，電視劇具有巨大的媒體影響力。小學生最叻模仿，有樣學樣。在學校裡同學之間講：「係咁先，唔係咩呀！」蔚然成風。

第九位：「拜拜你條尾！」
譏笑同學是動物，是小學雞最喜歡捉弄同學的其中一種方法。道別時跟同學講聲「拜拜」，原本是有禮貌的表現，但加多三個字「你條尾」，把對方貶作是「有尾巴的動物科」，來突顯自己是人類的優越地位。

第八位：「講大話，甩大牙！」
父母教子女唔好講大話，但他們先用一個「無科學根據的大話」來教導/恐嚇子女唔好講大話。從醫學角度看：講大話和甩大牙怎會有直接關係呢？同學們之間交換情報時，如一方感到懷疑，要求另一方講真話，便會說：「嗱！講大話，甩大牙吖！」希望另一方會如實招來。

第七位：「捉得到，俾個錢你買紅棗！」
小學時代物質生活不似今天般豐裕，一粒紅棗已經好矜貴，值成個錢。小學生精力旺盛，喜歡玩「捉」：一個捉一個跑。逃跑一方會說：「捉得到，俾個錢你買紅棗！」但從未有人俾過錢，亦無人去買過紅棗。

第六位：「走得摩，無鼻哥！」
小學生百厭，結黨去搞破壞。如果破壞咗公物，眾人驚會受罰作鳥獸散。呢個咁危急嘅時候，竟然有一個同學仲有心情，大聲說：「走得摩，無鼻哥！」或者「契弟走得摩！」加強逃跑時的緊張氣氛。

第五位：「唔講你知，等你心思思。」
當年家計會的宣傳口號：「心思思、有件事，遇疑難，話我知。」心思思指令人忐忑不安。小學生故作神秘，拒絕告知答案或真相，讓人「吊癮」，便要說出呢句：「唔講你知，等你心思思。」這一句較適合女同學笑瞇瞇咁講。

第四位：「速速磅，唔好兩頭望！」
小學生也有金錢瓜葛：去合作社幫同學買嘢食、借錢買模型等。債主追債仔還錢，會大聲催促說：「速速磅，唔好兩頭望！」至於點解「磅水」解作「還錢或付錢」？我都唔清楚。

第三位：「地上執到寶，問天問地攞唔到！」
「路不拾遺」只是一個理想信念，現實生活好難達成得到。貪心的小學生，見到地上有失物，立即據為己有。只需說出一句：「地上執到寶，問天問地攞唔到！」便可將這罪行合理化，變成天經地義。

第二位：「閘住！反彈！無回頭！」
小學生嗌交鬥嘴，互相指摘對方，跟住就會變本加厲，說出一啲咀咒性的說話。另一方就會啟動他的防禦系統，說出：「閘住！」之餘，還要「反彈！」讓對方受返啲咀咒。最後就「無回頭！」防反彈，自己就唔會受返啦。

第一位：「我閹！」
男性小學生有一個玩兒，叫「閹」。就是把五隻手指一合，成為一個尖型的「鶴咀」（即是虎鶴雙形拳中的鶴咀），伺機向男同學的下體偷襲，用力一轉，稱之為「閹」。玩「閹」時，同學需要配以口訣，就是嗌：「我閹！」。還有一個玩法是「校園集體欺凌」的始祖，叫「圍閹」。顧名思義，一名較孱弱的受害者，慘遭數名同學「圍著嚟閹」。玩「閹」時一定要嗌：「我閹！」把這侵犯動作合理化，否則就會被同學稱為變態佬。

完

二少爺說：如果時光可以倒流的話，我希望回到中二，日日玩到癲！


Turn Back The Clock - Johnny Hates Jazz
Another day is ended
And I still can't sleep
Remembering my yesterdays
I begin to weep
If I could have it over
Live my life again
I wouldn't change a single day

I wish that I could turn back the clock
Bring the wheels of time to stop
Back to the days when life was so much better

Lying here in silence
Picture in my hand
Of a boy I still resemble
But I no longer understand
And as the tears run freely
How I realise they were the best years of my life

You might say it's just
A case of giving up
No, But without these memories where is the love
Where is the love

If I could have it over
Live my life again
I wouldn't change a single day

Why can't I turn back the clock
Bring the wheels of time to a stop
Back to the days
Oh no no
I remember when
Life was so good
I'd go back if I could
Oh oh I wouldn't change a single day
Don't let the memories slip away
I wouldn't change a single day
Don't let the memories slip away

Another day is ended
And I still can't sleep
Remembering my yesterdays
I begin to weep
If I could have it over
Live my life again
I wouldn't change a single day

I wish that I could turn back the clock
Bring the wheels of time to stop
Back to the days when life was so much better

Lying here in silence
Picture in my hand
Of a boy I still resemble
But I no longer understand
And as the tears run freely
How I realise they were the best years of my life

You might say it's just
A case of giving up
No But without these memories where is the love
Where is the love

If I could have it over
Live my life again
I wouldn't change a single day

Why can't I turn back the clock
Bring the wheels of time to a stop
Back to the days
Oh no no
I remember when
Life was so good
I'd go back if I could
Oh oh I wouldn't change a single day
Don't let the memories slip away
I wouldn't change a single day
Don't let the memories slip away