呃你十五秒

呃你十五秒

（一）
超級市場內，一對情侶推著購物車買餸，女的打開冰櫃。
男：「吖，唔知有無雨落呢？」
女：「呢度室內，點知出面有無落雨呀？」
男：「我問妳冰櫃裡面有無乳酪呀。」
女：「………」

（二）
泳池旁邊的太陽椅上，兩名大隻佬躺著曬太陽。一個胸肌勁、一個腹肌靚。
胸肌佬：「乜你兩隻腳一條毛都無架，會唔會有病呀？」
腹肌佬：「乜嘢病呢？」
胸肌佬：「『無毛病』囉！」
腹肌佬：「yeah！我咁正常，無毛病。」
胸肌佬：「……」

（三）
兩名打工仔在快餐店吃lunch，一個四眼、一個禿髮。
四眼：「唉~ 我公司部電腦Block哂facebook、msn、微博，好慘呀！」
禿髮：「好彩我公司電腦無block嘢唧。」
四眼：「吓！你公司電腦無block嘢？」
禿髮：「梗係啦！電腦係死物，點『扑嘢』呀？」
四眼：「……」

點解題目叫「呃你十五秒」？相信答案都呼之欲出，Sorry！呃了大家寶貴的十五秒，唔好意思。


完

講起食字，我記得1998年，有一套外國電影，講戰亂中的薩拉熱窩。香港發行商把中文戲名譯做《殺啦！熱鍋上的螞蟻》，渾然天成。


Miss Sarajevo - U2 & Luciano Pavarotti

Is there a time for keeping your distance
A time to turn your eyes away
Is there a time for keeping your head down
For getting on with your day

Is there a time for kohl and lipstick
A time for curling hair
Is there a time for high street shopping
To find the right dress to wear

Here she comes
Heads turn around
Here she comes
To take her crown

Is there a time to run for cover
A time for kiss and tell
Is there a time for different colours
Different names you find it hard to spell

Is there a time for first communion
A time for East Seventeen
Is there a time to turn to Mecca
Is there time to be a beauty queen

Here she comes
Beauty plays the clown
Here she comes
Surreal in her crown

Dici che il fiume
Trova la via al mare
E come il fiume
Giungerai a me
Oltre i confini
E le terre assetate
Dici che come il fiume
Come il fiume...
L'amore giungerà
L'amore...
E non so più pregare
E nell'amore non so più sperare
E quell'amore non so più aspettare

Is there a time for tying ribbons
A time for Christmas trees
Is there a time for laying tables
And the night is set to freeze