金曲頒獎禮

金曲頒獎禮

每年年尾，香港電視台電台紛紛搞金曲頒獎禮，表面上是總結當年歌手的成績，
實際是各大唱片公司和電台間利益交換的市場。歌手擺出驚愕表情，上台攞獎，交足戲、激動地致謝。睇睇金曲頒獎典禮最常聽到的十句說話：

第十位：「香港樂壇，每年新人輩出。」
每年金曲頒獎禮，必設有「最佳男女新人獎」，而大會司儀介紹頒發新人獎時，
Intro時例必說：「香港樂壇，每年新人輩出。」無計啦，唱片公司只簽有樣無歌藝的少男少女，捧唔紅就放棄，難怪咁多「一碟歌星」，於樂壇一閃即逝。

第九位：「我會繼續努力，答謝我嘅歌迷！」
得獎歌手走上台，多謝歌迷這班米飯班主，咬唇激動地說：「多謝我啲歌迷，我會繼續努力。」如果歌手的努力會替他們帶來財富和名利，咁歌手使乜咁虛偽講「乜嘢答謝歌迷」喇，不如坦白啲講：「我會繼續努力，賺哂我歌迷啲錢！」

第八位：「你哋話係邊個呀？吓？大聲啲！」
頒獎嘉賓要揭曉得獎者是誰，撕開信封後，望一望信封，首先碌大對眼，再帶笑面對鏡頭：「你哋話係邊個呀？吓？大聲啲！」搞搞氣氛，等台下觀眾嗌出自己偶像的名字；一輪擾攘之後，嘉賓：「係啦！係你啦！上台啦！恭喜哂！」鏡頭鎖著台下得獎歌手。

第七位：「多謝大家收睇，明年再見，晚安！」
金曲頒獎典禮接近尾聲，需要打完場，大會司儀先邀請得獎歌手上台，齊齊向鏡頭揮手道別：「多謝大家收睇，明年再見，晚安！」揮手之後，字幕極速向上彈出，緊接播出廣告，賺錢air time要緊。

第六位：「我無諗過會係我架！」
歌手知道自己獲獎後，唔敢相信自己的耳朵！（一半是真、一半假裝）可能對手太強？可能對自己信心不夠？上台獲獎時，聲震震：「我無諗過會係我架！」歌手手足無措說：「好緊張！我唔知講乜好？」如果歌手真係無諗過會係自己攞獎，
咁不如乾脆留返喺屋企唔好出席，省回化妝置裝費啦！

第五位：「我要多謝我嘅經理人同埋大會」
歌手明白自己得獎，背後有一個唇齒相依的人一定要多謝！就是自己的經理人，飲水思源，還要鳴謝頒獎給自己的大會。所以會聽到歌手說：「多謝Parco！」「多謝鍾珍！」「多謝Mani、楊生！」「多謝TVB！」「多謝商台！」「多謝新城！」

第四位：「大家要支持正版音樂！」
翻版BT令唱片業收入大減，所以歌手一有曝光機會，就要向觀眾呼籲：「大家要支持正版音樂！」觀眾聽見只會當作耳邊風，分分鐘連台下的歌手們、高層人士，也試過非法download歌曲啦。

第三位： 「剩番最後一首金曲，由邊位歌手攞呢？」
當九首金曲已經揭曉後，尚有數位人氣偶像歌手仍未獲獎無著落。這時候，司儀掀起緊張氣氛，問觀眾：「剩番最後一首金曲，由邊位歌手攞呢？」此時，電視攝影機會對準歌手們的大頭，Close Up，看到歌手們強作輕鬆扮鎮定。當結果公佈後，落選歌手還要強顏歡笑，扮大方去拍得獎者膊頭或握手，祝賀正在路過的得獎歌手。

第二位：「你放低個獎先，麻煩你去嗰邊準備一吓。」
得獎歌手致謝完畢後，連個獎都未摸暖，司儀已經上前說：「你放低個獎先，麻煩你去嗰邊準備一吓。」歌手得獎後沖昏了頭腦，在「走音」和「忘記歌詞」的心理威脅之下，戰戰兢兢地live唱出他的得獎歌曲。

第一位：「多謝我啲fans！無咗你哋，我無可能企喺呢度！」
歌手的人氣指數高低，全賴一班Fans的盲目支持與忠心擁護。歌手懂得在適當時機冧吓樂迷，乘機收買人心。當歌手講完：「多謝我啲fans！無咗你哋，我無可能企喺呢度！」電視鏡頭立即close up場中舉著螢光牌遮面的fans，響起吹BB聲。歌手感動到眼濕濕，想起在Fans銀包內又可以掘走幾多錢。

完

放完假，又係星期一，無mood之下，聽吓The Boomtown Rats 的《I Don't Like Mondays 》

I Don't Like Mondays - The Boomtown Rats

The silicon chip inside her head
Gets switched to overload.
And nobody's gonna go to school today,
She's going to make them stay at home.
And daddy doesn't understand it,
He always said she was as good as gold.
And he can see no reason
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
I want to shoot
The whole day down.

The telex machine is kept so clean
As it types to a waiting world.
And mother feels so shocked,
Father's world is rocked,
And their thoughts turn to
Their own little girl.
Sweet 16 ain't so peachy keen,
No, it ain't so neat to admit defeat.
They can see no reasons
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
I want to shoot
The whole day down.

All the playing's stopped in the playground now
She wants to play with her toys a while.
And school's out early and soon we'll be learning
And the lesson today is how to die.
And then the bullhorn crackles,
And the captain crackles,
With the problems and the how's and why's.
And he can see no reasons
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to die?

Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
I want to shoot
The whole day down.