MW毒氣瘋暴 – 上集

MW毒氣瘋暴 – 上集

晚上9時25分，Michael和Wilson在戲院天花板黑暗的冷氣糟內，埋頭苦幹。Wilson把「自製毒氣裝置」小心翼翼地安放入冷氣糟的風口。Michael在旁照明和協助，一切準備就緒，現在只差最後一步：就是按「倒數計時器」……

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Michael和Wilson相識於青衣工業學院，雖然大家讀不同學科，在籃球場打波時認識。兩人甚為老友投契。畢業後各自找到工作。Michael在一間中資冷氣生產商做冷氣技工、Wilson在化工原料廠工作做學徒。兩人中學時代都是讀男校，中五畢業後讀工業學院，但讀電機和化工也是男多女少，就算有女同學，都長得似魯芬或似蘇絲黃。兩人自小少接觸女性，令兩名怕醜「和尚仔」對女性充滿渴望和幻想。

Michael和Wilson想告別寡佬生涯，睇了很多港產片，對一夜情充滿憧憬。他們商議後，決定互相壯膽，首次結伴去「蘭桂坊」學人溝女。兩人薯頭薯腦、衣著老土，只遭索女們嗤之以鼻。食白果之餘，仲學到人飲到醉醺醺。結果兩人半夜醉倒街頭幽暗處，嘔到一地都係。首次溝女便碰上滑鐵盧。心裡投訴電影中的easy come easy go情節，全都是欺騙觀眾。

Michael和Wilson醉倒昏睡喺後巷。那天有一架美國航空母艦到港，一大批美國大兵去了灣仔區和中區買醉。有兩個粗獷美國黑兵哥路經，也是飲大咗，黑兵哥發現Michael和Wilson躺在後巷內，屁股向天。黑兵哥笑了，決定免費試一試東方人。

Michael和Wilson迷糊間慘遭兩名醉醺醺的兵哥侵犯，毛手毛腳又索吻！兩人起勢嗌救命！差啲後欄失守之際，在最危急關頭，遭巡警發現上前阻止。兩人雖保貞操，但自從被兵哥侵犯之後，整天活在陰影裡，天一黑就無原無故驚慌起來，心理上起了變化：Michael產生了「恐懼同性戀Homosexual Phobia」情意結、Wilson較極端，產生「打壓同性戀Gay Bashing」情意結。兩人在街上一見到擬似「同志」，Michael就想調頭走，Wilson就咬牙切齒。Wilson甚至有跟同志惡意指罵碰撞，後遭警員警戒的紀錄。

有一天中午時分，Wilson致電Michael到深水埗舊樓天台，話有要事相談。烈日當空，天台上有亂七八糟的魚骨天線架、晾曬衣物和一群白鴿。兩人在空無一人的天台上見面，Wilson貪呢度少人，唔會洩露機密。Wilson向Michael提出一個激進的集體大型「殺基行動」。一次過可以殺死二百個「基民」，發洩報仇！

Wilson在網上找尋到「日本真理教」製造沙林毒氣的方程式，他在化工廠取得製造毒氣的原料。並自製了一個「發放毒氣裝置」。Wilson知道這個週末，電影中心舉行「同志電影節」，週六晚上9時30分會播放開幕電影，門票一早售罄。Wilson打算在戲院裡發放毒氣，殺死戲院內的200名同志觀眾。

為什麼Wilson要找Michael幫手？因為Michael這個星期正替電影中心維修及檢查冷氣系統。Wilson要Michael複製機房鎖匙，週末晚上9時兩人潛入戲院冷氣糟，安裝上「自製毒氣裝置」後，按「倒數計時器」，八分鐘後當兩人順利逃離戲院範圍後，各種毒素便會溶合，繼而產生出毒氣，經冷氣風口吹襲影院內的二百名同志。說到這裡，Wilson瘋狂地咔咔聲狂笑起來！令天台附近的白鴿受驚，拍翼高飛。

Michael同意跟Wilson組成「殺基二人組」，他們把這個行動命名為「MW毒氣風暴」；兩人按計劃分頭行事。

轉眼已是週末，晚上9時25分，Michael和Wilson在戲院黑暗的冷氣糟內，Wilson把「自製毒氣裝置」小心翼翼咁安放入冷氣糟的風口。一切準備就緒，現在只差最後一步：就是按「倒數計時器」。只要Wilson撳下按鈕，八分鐘後，戲院便會變成大型毒氣室，下面嗰200位同志，便可以集體暢遊天國。

兩人從冷氣糟的風葉，窺探下面的密麻麻的觀眾，欣賞他們死到臨頭仍懵然不知的無知面容。仍未開塲，場內燈光未調暗，方便同志們互相「See and to be seen」；睇吓有冇遇到熟朋友、或睇吓有冇人啱眼緣。大家交頭接耳，等待開幕電影的播映。

「殺基二人組」在冷氣糟上冷冷道：「哼！全院滿座，太好啦！」。Michael突然發現到樓下K行有一張熟識的面孔！Michael極度震驚地：「吓！吓！？點解佢…..會喺度架！？」

待續

（我知道本故事內容完全政治不正確，但下集將會撥亂反正，大家姑且唔好鬧我住，睇埋下集先一次過鬧啦。）

Go West – Pet Shop Boys

Come on, come on, come on, come on
(Together) We will go our way
(Together) We will leave someday
(Together) Your hand in my hands
(Together) We will make our plans

(Together) We will fly so high
(Together) Tell all our friends goodbye
(Together) We will start life new
(Together) This is what we'll do

(Go West) Life is peaceful there
(Go West) In the open air
(Go West) Where the skies are blue
(Go West) This is what we're gonna do
(Go West, this is what we're gonna do, Go West)

(Together) We will love the beach
(Together) We will learn and teach
(Together) Change our pace of life
(Together) We will work and strive

(I love you) I know you love me
(I want you) How could I disagree?
(So that's why) I make no protest
(When you say) You will do the rest

(Go West) Life is peaceful there
(Go West) In the open air
(Go West) Baby you and me
(Go West) This is our destiny (Aah)

(Go West) Sun in wintertime
(Go West) We will do just fine
(Go West) Where the skies are blue
(Go West, this is what we're gonna do)

There where the air is free
We'll be (We'll be) what we want to be (Aah aah aah aah)
Now if we make a stand (Aah)
We'll find (We'll find) our promised land (Aah)

(I know that) There are many ways
(To live there) In the sun or shade
(Together) We will find a place
(To settle) Where there's so much space

(Without rush) And the pace back east
(The hustling) Rustling just to feed
(I know I'm) Ready to leave too
(So that's what) We are gonna do

(What we're gonna do is
Go West) Life is peaceful there
(Go West) There in the open air
(Go West) Where the skies are blue
(Go West) This is what we're gonna do

(Life is peaceful there)
Go West (In the open air)
Go West (Baby, you and me)
Go West (This is our destiny)
(Go West) Sun in wintertime
(Go West) We will feel just fine
(Go West) Where the skies are blue
(Go West) This is what we're gonna do