猩猩同學會

猩猩同學會

美國政府於1958年，正式成立美國太空總署(NASA)。鑽研11年後，阿波羅11號於1969年成功登陸月球。期間11年，NASA用猩猩測試太空艙的安全性。該批猩猩也可說是首批航天員。猩猩退役後，被送到NASA設置一地方安享晚年，或簡稱「等死」。

一隻大頭猩猩剛剛退役，被送到NASA特設的「猩猩安老地方」。這裡大概有100頭猩猩，雄性佔95%、雌性僅佔5%。一頭老猩猩正坐在樹下吃蕉。大頭猩猩初到貴境，人生路不熟，上前先向老叔父打聲招呼。

老猩猩點頭微笑，叫大頭猩猩唔使太客氣，大家都曾是NASA航天學員，都是「猩猩同學會」的成員。老猩猩更把手上一條蕉遞給大頭猩猩，大頭猩猩老實不客氣，剝皮放進口。

大頭猩猩見老猩猩年資頗深，好奇心驅使下，問吓老猩猩的光輝歲月。
大頭猩猩問：「你喺呢度咁耐，不如你講件開心嘅往事俾我呢啲後輩聽吓？」
老猩猩：「好呀！1964年某一天早上，訓練人員嚟到，將一隻又肥又醜嘅雌性猩猩捉入一個黃色嘅鐵籠。原來訓練人員捉隻雌性猩猩去接受航天訓練，又搖又轉足一日，佢黃昏先返嚟，剩返半條命，毫無反抗能力，於是我哋20隻雄性猩猩咪輪流搞佢囉，雖然佢又肥又醜，但係……好醜都係肉吖嘛！」
老猩猩講起都笑咪咪，仿佛仍回味緊那份獸慾。

大頭猩猩陪笑：「嘩！咁過癮？咁仲有冇啲更加開心嘅事，講俾我聽呀？」
老猩猩：「有呀！1966年某一天早上，訓練人員嚟到，將一隻後生、又靚、又好身材嘅雌性猩猩捉入一個黃色嘅鐵籠。原來訓練人員捉佢去接受航天訓練，又搖又轉足一日，佢黃昏先返嚟，只係剩返半條命，毫無反抗能力，於是我哋20隻雄性猩猩咪輪流搞佢囉，嘩！佢真係超靚超好身材，極品呀！哈哈！哈哈！」
老猩猩講起都笑淫淫，仿佛仍回味緊那份銷魂和興奮。

大頭猩猩陪著狂笑：「嘩！哈哈！咁激？好羨慕你呀！聽完你講啲開心嘢，不如講件唔開心嘅事俾我聽呀？」

老猩猩怔一怔，收起剛才燦爛的笑聲，

老猩猩：「唉~ 1968年某一天早上，訓練人員嚟到，將我捉入一個黃色嘅鐵籠入面……」
老猩猩講起都眼濕濕，仿佛傷口仍未癒合，隱隱作痛。

Co-written by 大隻權 & 卡臣

完

剃人頭者，人亦剃其頭。所以凡事不要去到太盡。The Blow Monkeys都話：「It Doesn't Have To Be This Way」。

It Doesn't Have To Be This Way - The Blow Monkeys

It doesn't have to be this way
Just counting the hours
Cuz when your bed, it's made
Then baby, it's too late
Yeah...

There's no hope for a hungry child
Whose joker is wild
They take all hope away
By the end of the day

Well I just about have enough of the sunshine
Hey! what did I hear you say?
You know, it deosn't have to be that way
You! when you walk out the door
You gonna ask for more

It doesn't have to hurt that way
Just counting the pain
You've only got yourself to blame
For playing the game

There's no hope for a hungry child (no wonder!)
Whose joker is wild
And they take all hope away
And I just can't see the sense
And my mind's a haze

Well I just about have enough of the sunshine
Hey! what did I hear you say?
You know, it deosn't have to be that way
You! when you walk out the door
You gonna ask for more

Do you want it?
Do you want it?
Don't you know that I got it baby?
Don't you know I got it baby?

And I just about have enough of the sunshine
Hey! what did I hear you say?
You know, it deosn't have to be that way
You! when you walk out the door
You better ask for more