* 鬼佬買樓

A: Come, go, China made old building,
Ceiling high, you love.
Seven floor, one two zero zero feet,
Face south, window big, good air, comfortable.
Come see harbour, Chinese new year, firework, boom! Boom! Good!
One bedroom, two WC, three kitchens.

B: Why three kitchens? Is landlord a chef?

A: What's a chef?

B: It means a cook!

A: Not cook, he is cooker.
He also fry building!

B: What?

A: Fry Buildings make money! Understand?

B: How much the rent?

A: Ten thousand plus two thousand.

B: You mean twelve thousand?

A: Yes! One year dead contract,
Three year live contract.

B: Will landlord provide full furniture?

A: Landlord not said, but will talk.

B: How about management fee?

A: Free? No thing in Hong Kong is free!

B: Will landlord repaint the house to blue?

A: Blue colour? No good! Wind and water!

B: What wind and water means?

A: Wind and water! 風水, understand?

B: Hum…no.

A: Down street, 7-11, Karaoke, disco,
suna, night club, everything! Good!

B: Is there any church nearby?

A: Oh! Hong Kong no church! Temple OK?

B: How long it takes to Central?

A: Bus. One o clock.

B: You means one hour? Terrible!

A: OK la, MTR soon open, maybe.

B: I take this flat if landlord provides full furniture.
Repaint the house, fix the contract to two years,
And cut the rent to nine thousand.

A: OK! Talk landlord now, wait.
喂！陳先呀？痙攣物業姓錢。
有個鬼婆睇緊你個單位，
佢想九千蚊租兩年，
家電齊、牆身油藍油，O 唔 OK 呀?
好客黎架！仲可以即時起租！
(略停)
哦? 拜拜。

B: What does landlord said?

A: Seal tray!

B: What?

A: Seal tray! 封盤！唔租，Not rent！

B: So bad!

A: 唉！See next! Go la.

二零零五年九月